doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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