At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
