please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
