I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I met the friendliest cop last night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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