im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
