Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
