Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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