Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
