I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
