Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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