4 words: hood of his car
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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