i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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