I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
