come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i out mim tonsoeep
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