he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
