that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
