I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
