Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
