do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
