When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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