whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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