Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
