You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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