think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
