Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
