if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
