After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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