Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize