i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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