He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
