My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
