Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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