Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize