Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
