Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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