PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
