Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
