It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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