Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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