I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
