I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
