redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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