I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
