He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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