dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
