There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
