whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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