we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
