Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
