just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
