i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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