what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
