i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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