I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
