i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have already put on my inside pants.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
