So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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