The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
