if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
